KuroBasu birthdays!

^^

I've decided. Depending on which Kiseki no Sedai version we're doing. Either jersey or school uniform. I'll pick either Midorima or Mukkun. We can't do high school because we'll need Himuro, Takao, Kasamatsu.

Mukkun, despite your lumbering, towering height, you're still my princess. No one asked you to crossdress, dammit. Why did you have to look so good too? And the fanart aren't helping >.>

All we need now is a fanfic. Of him in more dresses.

I'm obsessed with Mukkun. URGH.

Start It Right Away

MITOBE.

I LOVE HIM MORE AFTER WATCHING THE ANIME.

I think I can understand Mukkun/Mitobe....besides them being Centers. Mitobe can cook. Mukkun likes to eat.

I prefer Start It Right Away Reprise. I couldn't get used to Start It Right Away's changing melody the first few times I heard the full version, though I do enjoy the chorus. (Fast lyrics oh yeah. Helps practise rapping too ^^) But the Reprise version is nicer IMO.

I will use this next time.

XDDDDDD

Something to say

London Olympics 2012 opening ceremony

Pretty cool

=====

I think I accidentally offended someone with my "TomokoXRyusei wins" comment. Don't mind me, I am still caught up with this pair haha. Of course, I still like GenKen, but right now TomokoXRyusei wins them. It's merely personal opinion. Kinishinai de. ^^; I mean, do you have to feel miffed when someone thinks a pair's "wins" the other? We are all entitled to have our favourite pairs; we're entitled to favour a pair over the other. If I wrote "TomokoXRyusei tops the list in Fourze.", how would your reaction be like? Plus, others do the same too. I don't see you irked by their comments.

If something wins, isn't it at the top?

And dude, it's not like I feel offended when fujoushi think yaoi rules hetero any day. But I will get sick and tired of people who scoff at hetero. Excuse me, I like my hetero just fine. I only started accepting and shipping male pairs when Hetalia first came (DenSu/SuDen), then it got worse when I picked up Kamen Rider OOO. And went downhill from there. And I do like LukaAhim too - first yuri pair ever.

No, Usotsuki Lily doesn't count.

At least, I wasn't upset. I've no reason to be.

I love Seirin.

I love Seirin.

KuroBasu, you are one exception indeed. Usually I don't care much about main characters, but the first character I liked was Kuroko himself before Midorin appeared. Then when Mukkun appeared, my heart went to him immediately. No questions asked.

Out of the schools I like, Seirin and Yousen are my choices. And I do like the Seirin team, especially when Tetsuya II and Teppei appeared, their appeal shot up. I like Izuki. I like Teppei. I like Mitobe. I want to bully Kagami and set the dogs after him for the hell of it.

So far, I see quite a lot of Mitobe/Kagami. Probably because they are the chefs. XDDD

Look at Mitobe smiling. Oh god.

Crack pair, I do like Mukkun/Mitobe. Otherwise, I prefer Mukkun to be solo.

http://www.zerochan.net/1160389

http://www.zerochan.net/1150230

http://www.zerochan.net/1139929

OTP - Hyuuga/Riko, KaHi, HiKa, GoM/Ka (in general)

Excuse me, if Kiseki no Sedai is colour-coded OT6, Kagami/Himuro and vice versa is OTP. Fire and Ice, dammit. They are freaking soulmates, complete with a ring.

When I get my new laptop, I will dig through pixiv for doujinshi and fanart. I'm already at the point where ratings don't matter to me.

Oh well, I've abandoned Maple....

Oh god Mukkun

http://tetsuoo.tumblr.com/post/28100133558/image-credit

....

They are trolling me.

They are definitely trolling me.

I even had all the same. Like, you're my best friend and rival, I got my first kiss from you, you're my lover and I'm married to you, yet you cockblock. Probably from unknown suitors. But still......

http://berselium.tumblr.com/post/28105593461/mukkun-and-food

Oh.my.gawd.MUKKUNNNNNNN >///////////////////////<

He's seme. Definitely seme.

=====

I am a fan of character songs, and naturally I enjoy listening to KuroBasu character songs. Takao's songs are nice

GTO epi 4

Happy birthday, Grace/Marvelous/Shin.

=====

I'm sorry drama CDs don't affect me as much, namely because I'm not as proficient in Japanese, and because I'm kind of immune already haha. I tried listening to Lovers Only, and started laughing at the kissing and bed creaking. Yeah, I know they're having sex, but the kissing sounds cracked me up. Too fake. Besides, it's a drama CD. I doubt kisses sound like that when you're going at it, do they? I would imagine them to be more soundless, more moans and the shiet.

=====

Fark you, bitch, how dare you frame Koji (Yuki's character) and Onizuka-sensei. Yes PuriYuki looks exactly the same as the manga character. AND HE CAN COOK 8DDD

Shit shit shit I should continue reading the manga from where I left off. Coz I stopped exactly at that part where Koji lost the money bag, and Onizuka-sensei got framed and all. But GTO episode 4 combines both the Tomoko arc (with twists here and there) and this. Well, I like it just fine. ^^ Besides, in the manga, Tomoko managed to gain recognition after the idol competition, haha. Everything will work out just fine until more mishaps come in, episodes later.

And it's always the same manipulator.

Bitch, you aren't the only one who can manipulate. Onizuka can too, in his own idiosyncratic manner. He pulls people towards him.

The perks - SHIROTAN AND YUKI IN THE SAME PLACE. RYUJI BEING KAKKOI AS USUAL. KOJI'S SMILE.

SHIT, LIBRA MADE A GUEST APPEARANCE HERE. OMGGGGGGGGG

BYAKUYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DON'T DIE

DON'T YOU DARE DISAPPEAR FROM MY LIFE

I WON'T HAVE YOU DIE ON ME, KUCHIKI BYAKUYA

YOU BETTER LIVE

I'LL ANNIHILATE THE QUINCYS

I'LL KILL THEM ALL

Byakuya, please don't die.

Yuki, Mukkun and Midorin

あと約７時間後☆
ＧＴＯ第４話☆
ソワソワが止まらん☆

Yuki, I cannot. I can't decide between adorable, handsome, beautiful or sexy.

I love all facades of you ><

=====

Urgh, I want a Mukkun to molest in our Kiseki no Sedai team! Not helping that the Kiseki no Sedai members can be paired with each other. It's rare to see a MuraMido.

Can I have a KuroBasuMyu now? With Kei, Ryota, Kane and Ouji inside? Pretty please?

MUKKUN

Mukkun in a dress

And now here be the fanart

*ded*

Mukkun. Date. NOW. (Fanfic)

After seeing Yuki's "Come hither" in Good Come vol 24, oh my god, what is this special date with all these eye candy assaulting my poor senses???

====

KuroBasu Replace II chinese translations - http://tieba.baidu.com/p/1533658052
pictures - http://tieba.baidu.com/p/1311145759

Source
Quote:

(Teikou middle school time)
- Midorima sits behind Aomine in class but Aomine doesn't remember all his classmate's faces.
- Kise and Murasakibara are in the same class. But Murasakibara doesn't remember his classmate's faces either.
- Aomine, like Kagami, doesn't do well for tests.
- Boys have confessed to Momoi but she rejects them all the time.
- No one, including the senior basketball club members, question Akashi.
- Midorima gave Momoi the lucky pencils. (She then gave one to Aomine and one to Kuroko.)
- The GoM exchange gifts a lot.
- Akashi gave Kuroko an order (Sort of) to not play basketball because he sprained his wrist and asked Momoi to keep an eye on him. But some things happened and he played anyway. So Kuroko asked Murasakibara to not tell Akashi. Murasakibara agreed because they didn't want to see an angry Akashi.
-Kise fails at DDR (you know, dancing games in general) Kuroko on the other hand...is well...better at it. (Cannot imagine Kuroko playing DDR but yeah...)
- Kuroko is a bookworm. He likes detective novels the most. (So when he started talking a lot about ways to find Seirin Basketball club's missing club funds, Hyuuga thought he was sick)
-Kagami is scared of ghosts.

*snickers* All the fanfics, people. All the damn fanfics.

XDD

YUKI OMG WHY SO HOT

(source)


!!!!!!!!!!!!!


OMG WHY SO HOT


I don't care about the Kpop style, because I've nothing against what he likes. I care about how he looks here. And boy, he looks so deliciously seductive. I want to laud the makeup artist and hairstylist for giving him such a "Come hither, babe, I'm going to make you scream my name." look.


^ I've been reading too much KuroBasu twitterbots. Fic ideas, come to me NOW.

YUKI YUKI YUKI YUKI YUKI YUKI

Nice pants and shoes, btw.

I want Good Come vol 24 and D2 First Photobook as my birthday presents now. Pwetty please????

One life, many loves

運命ですかね☆
今日は取材よー☆
みんなおはよう☆

Yuki cooking with Shion!

=====

My mum is appalled by the amount of hair I'm dropping. Truthfully, I'm worried too. It's a lot more than usual. I don't mind wearing a wig, but I don't want to look like some cancer patient without one.

If I have some kind of disease, I'll deal with it. After all, I only have one life.

=====

How to make a cape with optional hood

8DDDD

I may try this for shinigami Ukyo.

=====

Making Joe's accessories is really a PITA. I gave up on the details on his chain and modified them. I....will look into his pendant again.

Speaking of Gokaiger, and sentai, and tokusatsu in general, I wonder about the lack of Eeveelution in tokusatsu. Especially when they are as colour-coded. I saw a KuroBasuXEeveelution crossover fanart where each Kiseki no Sedai member having at least one Eeveelution.

Akashi + Flareon.
Aomine + Vaporeon.
Kise + Jolteon.
Kuroko + Umbreon & Glaceon.
Midorima + Leafeon.
Murasakibara + Espeon.

I think I understand why Kuroko has 2. Umbreon is black, and Glaceon has the same colour as Kuroko's hair. ^^;

I'm so not surprised Eeveelution is popular.

http://blog.watanabepro.co.jp/negishitakuya/archives/2012/07/post_540.html

D'awww sleeping Yuki 8DDD

Double Score. What's that? I see ossans....hmm.....ah. OKIAYU. TORIUMI. KENN.

=====

AomineXTaiga. I like. 8D

OTP: HyuugaXRiko. TaigaXHimuro/ HimuroXTaiga YES PLEASE

OT3: TeppeiXRikoXHyuuga, AomineXTaigaXKuroko.

OT6: Kiseki no Sedai

OT7: KisekiXMomoi, KisekiXTaiga

If Kuroko is my bicycle, Taiga is my van.

=====

Gokai symbol on the chain, you pain in the ass. WHY SO SMALL??!! QAQ

rants. again.

It gets tiring when the first thing a parent does after seeing you is nag.

Not seeing you at all, but know you're within listening distance, nag.

Finding stupid excuses to restrict you and ban you from things they view as hazardous.

Finding faults in everything I do.

Telling me things like "I'm going to suffer from depression soon" will NOT make me listen to you. Since you don't seem to listen to me anyway.

If that excuse works, then I can say I'm turning bipolar. Or schizophrenic. Since I take on multiple personalities when I cosplay.

I admit I'm lazy and unhelpful sometimes. I'm not the only one. There are people who are lazy to do housework at home, and can do the job just fine outside. But it's more like I don't care, because you keep nagging and nagging to the point where I refuse to listen anymore.

Would it kill to accept that your child is already an adult and can think for himself? Would it kill to let your child learn from his mistakes occasionally instead of banning him on the spot without saying why or giving baseless excuses? Would it kill if you accept your child's opinions sometimes instead of trying to enforce yourself on him without listening to what he has to say?

You say you want your child to learn to be more independent, but the mollycoddling and all the restrictions you're imposing is the opposite.

I have to rant.

Kuroko no Basuke - Replace light novel

Looking at Koumajou Sakuya, I can roughly understand how to pose. It's similar to Sebastian, since that demon also uses knives.

Kuroko no Basuke is owning my life right now. But no worries, tokusatsu is still burning strong in my veins. I am still loving Gokaiger, oh gods. Let's see if my KuroBasu love can sustain as much as Tenipuri.

Maybe, haha.

Look. Mukkun in a dress.

*snickers* Why so haughty, Mukkun? XDDD

In case I forget, http://mocopersonal.tumblr.com/post/25799016522/kuroko-no-basuke-replace-novel-english

Yep.

GOKAIGER. KUROBASU.

http://vanillafrills.deviantart.com/#/d57y0yl

OMG JOE. SO GORGEOUS.

And too pretty to be really him. ^^;

Then again, what's new? Joe has always been portrayed as the pretty one, even though he isn't. Yuki is handsome, beautiful in his masculinity, but I won't really classify him as pretty.

To each his own.

=====

One of the best Mukkun on Worldcosplay.net:
http://worldcosplay.net/photo/391530/
http://worldcosplay.net/photo/388661/

(same person haha)

I'd say she has the most number of likes, haha. Very nice expression. Very bishie Mukkun. Unfortunately, I don't like the fingers. It clearly gives away the fact she's female. BASKETBALL PLAYERS DO NOT HAVE NICE, SOFT, MANICURED FINGERS.

If it were a music cosplay, I won't complain. But it's basketball. I'm sorry my hands are rough and totally not conditioned and all that crap and I haven't played my piano in ages OTL I should go learn one or two pieces before I lose my sight-reading skills but yeah, I am particular about the package....^^;

=====

I need more tags. Should have created them in the first place. =.=

ZENKICHI!YUKI

：007：山田裕貴 as 「めだかボックス」人吉善吉

YUKI AS ZENKICHI. OMFG

Okay, much as I love Yuki, I think Jinshan's the best cosplayer so far. Because of his poses, haha. Though some of Yuki's pictures were really nice.


Like this.

I love the pose in general. ^^ Well, Yuki CAN be a good cosplayer, but you have to give him the right characters.

次は第４話☆
昨日はオフ☆

YUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII QAQ

I AM GOING TO WATCH GTO LATER. STUPID TUDOU AND YOUKU RESTRICTING ACCESS TO THEIR VIDEOS FROM OVERSEAS.

And the manga...is so hilarious and ridiculous I've no idea whether to laugh or not. Coz serious,

=====


WTF DID YOU DO TO BYAKUYA, DAMN QUINCY?! MARK MY WORDS IF HE DIES I'LL DESTROY YOU.


=====


OH MY AKASHI. He looks like Gaara, but I'm more interested in knowing what kind of god he is. He's not like Yukimura, haha.

Before I leave

I declare Reimeiroku my favourite Hakuouki series. Well, Sekkaroku is nice too, but I prefer Reimeiroku because it talks about the beginnings of the Shinsengumi before Shinsengumi Kitan. Plus I love the OP and ED! Well, the most action-packed Hakuouki OP is definitely Mai Kaze (with everyone dying off during the show wtf)

You now live in the world of the anime you last saw. How fucked are you?

Hakuouki Reimeiroku. Ikemen haven who definitely kick ass.

If I haven't watched that, it'll be Arcana Famiglia. Also with kickass characters and ikemen.

Definitely NOT fucked.

=====

http://en.shindanmaker.com/250643

Kristin: 「I love you!」 Murasakibara: 「So that's how you feel...」 TRUE END

LOL I am so amused. And the reply's so Mukkun.


Still....LIKE HELL I'LL DO THE CONFESSING. *flips vending machines*

GTO and Bromides

ＧＴＯ撮影だったよ！☆
ＧＴＯ撮影よん☆
昨日はブロマイド撮影☆

If Yuki had taken a picture with Shirotan, I'll love him forever.

The next time I go Japan, I'll probably buy Yuki's bromides. Such a pretty and adorable boy. =w=

Will watch GTO when I come back. And if the ship has no wi-fi, I'll just update myself when I come back.

All the HP stuff

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110831120945AAsJYuN

I have a bit of Slytherin in me, I admit. But mostly Gryffindor. I am a Leo. I'm hot-headed, obstinate, cold, and enjoy my pranks every now and then.

Can I start shipping Godric and Salazar now?

^^;

=====


http://manatopia.org/post/13708811848/teach-me-how-1-positioning-background-images

Wow. I may apply this to my tumblr when I get my new laptop.

KuroBasu Band

LOOK AT THIS

I DON'T CARE HOW HUGE THE PICTURE IS. IF ONLY I HAVE MY LAPTOP. THIS WILL BE MY WALLPAPER FOR SURE.

Yes I'm deep in the KuroBasu fandom. Sue me.

Phantom

I can have 4 characters in my Maple world! And I want Phantom as my last. Always wanted a powered-up thief, haha. (Because Dual Blade hasn't appeared yet. Or rather, by the time I played Maple the class has already been removed.) Luminous seems pretty, but I'm not a mage user....^^; I prefer thieves, and bowmen are secondary choices. I can't stand how mages have such low health, and neither can I stand how warriors have such low mana. I like a more balanced diet, thank you.

I may or may not play my Sin after that, but I know for sure I won't abandon that guy. I need him for the higher level quests and Monster Park, and besides I invested a lot in him. I even gave him a Crimson Maple Set. Not gonna abandon him halfway just because the newer classes have more skills and better attacks. *defiant look* Once RRyotarou hits level 100, if it ever happens, well, I'll concentrate on other characters then.

I've even decided on a name for my future Phantom ^^

RRyotarou
Lleiddiad
Tywyllwch
Rhithllafn

FORGET ALL THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS.

Damn, it's strange how little things can erase negative thoughts. Like, I made friends with Daikon after we PMed each other on tumblr. She made an awesome Ankh during Cosfest X.2 and Kazari during Cosfest (sorry I didn't recognise her as Kazari because I was looking at Lost Ankh, haha.....^^;). And she's going to find us at STGCC!

Ho shit we better do a good job then, since we're both die-hard toku fans. (Apparently she loves KR Blade) We're both Joe fans, omg. I bet I'll go out of character when I meet her, haha. Coz we'll start fangirling/fanboying over tokusatsu and I'm not supposed to do that as Joe. ><

Pirates and pirates. ISSHO NI SHASHIN O TORIMASU KA?

I wish I could say I feel offended, but my better judgment tells me to toss it aside and to hell with it. I can't be bothered anymore.

People change. So will I. And honestly, when my friends around me are getting attached, I am feeling the effects of being single. Okay, not so much of being single, but more for being the odd one out. I don't want to go back being my old self, that lone wolf who views the world with all the annoyance and "PISS OFF" attitude.

Reminds me of certain characters I like, haha............

I've changed, and I will continue to change.

Somehow, these less important issues always worm our way into our minds and distract us. Guh. Irritating buggers.

Aka Aka manga

Akaya Akashiya Ayakashi no manga

OMG I HAVE BEEN WAITING. Plus Nise no Chigiri manga is out too. What's with all the otoge and games churning out manga I don't even.

But I'm not complaining. Nope, not complaining. ^^

=====

Reimeiroku was nice. I was so tempted to call Ryunosuke IKENAMI RYUUNOSUKE instead of Ibuki Ryunosuke, because of reasons.

But anyway this. I would join the Baka team as the leader of FFF if only I can make the scythe like this, then add the accessories and reuse it for Ukyo.

*goes to search for more Amnesia pictures*

Ukyo you bastard why are you so pretty?! The rest are either handsome, sexy or cool, and of course Orion is the cute one, but UKYO. HE'S BEAUTIFUL AND ADORABLE.

Now I understand why Kei kept saying "SHO PWETTY~" I never really noticed it, but Ukyo IS pretty.

LOOK AT THIS TOO.

I just hope no one says that Joe is pretty when he is supposed to be cool.... >.>

=====

I should continue doing Gokaiger props....

http://orendsrange.blogspot.sg/2012/07/more-super-hero-taisen-replacement.html

SO GEKIRED WAS THE OTHER CHARACTER YUKI VOICED.

NO WONDER THEY ALL SOUNDED SO DIFFERENT

8D

Arcana Famiglia

Natsuyuki Rendevous. Whose OP song is sung by Yuya. I will check it out only for Yuya, haha. And, the male lead Hazuki reminds me of Mura-chin.

I haven't touched Summer anime, but I sure am looking forward to Fall now. Have to watch KuroBasu, Arcana Famiglia and Reimeiroku though, especially Reimeiroku.......><

*sigh*

=====

GTO was awesome.

I saw Yuki and I snorted. So cute >< Wonder what role he has in the future, haha. But so far,

I saw Shirotan and went "KAKKOI!!!!!!!" RYUUJI'S SO GORGEOUS. AND THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HIS GIRLFRIEND'S PHOTO BEFORE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THE INTRUDERS FOR TOUCHING THE PHOTOFRAME WAS SO BADASS.

=====

Arcana Famiglia is badass. I like Jolly, Pace and Nova ^^;

I want the music. Learn the OP and ED!

I'll download the episodes only after I get my laptop. I'm a patient person.

LOL Papa. I AM PAPA in the VAS famiglia XDDDDDDDDDDD

=====

Wow, Natsuyuki Rendevous is surprisingly nice. Very josei, very slice-of-life in a non-boring way. Plus, the music makes it all the nicer.

GTO

よっしゃ☆
七夕☆

Yuki you lucky boy. You got to meet one of your idols. He was totally fanboying to the point of tears which I was trying not to laugh about (I'M SORRY) and yes I will definitely watch GTO. NO SHIT COME TO ME ALL THE GODDAMN ACTION FIGHTING SCENES.


I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to finish watching BokuRiyuu coz these stories aren't my thing. I promise to watch it another time though. ><

WTF TUDOU WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW I WANT TO WATCH GTO. I WANT TO SEE YUKI AND SHIROTAN'S FACES. LOAD LOAD DAMMIT I AM WILLING TO THROW MAPLE ASIDE JUST TO WATCH THIS.

And then I'll play tonight. Gonna catch up on sleep.

*conks out*

Demon Slayer, meet Assassin and Mercedes

Tywyllwch, meet RRyotarou and Lleiddiad.

Darkness, meet Ryuuta and Slayer.

I need to up my smithing and alchemy skills so that I won't make another mistake and waste precious mesos =.= Time to earn more and craft more.........

=====

D2 FIRST PHOTOBOOK OUT IN SEPTEMBER. YOU KNOW WHAT TO GIVE ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY PEOPLE 8DDDDDDDDDD

GTO

ボクらが恋愛できない理由☆
今日はＧＴＯ☆

Longest post I had to read. >< Sorry Yuki, I would look forward to GTO more than this, eh...

GTO

GTO

I WANT TO WATCH IT. ALL THE BADASS FIGHTING.

The way Ryusei reacted to Tomoko's disappearance makes me ship them harder than before.

Favourite Fourze ship ever (besides GenKen and accepting KenGenRyu).

And suddenly, I want to continue writing my fiction. Maybe it's because of my friends all getting attached one after another. Don't mind if I use my friends as inspiration...I feel strangely like an observer...

=====

And so RRyotarou is level 81. Oh well, let Lleiddiad be the non-70 character then. Plus he's definitely more useful in MP because he can do mob attacks rather well.

I love my elf too much >< But I will not give up my assassin. I may not hit level 120, but perhaps, someday, I will. Years later, if my interest still lies, I'll play when I'm bored.

DEMON SLAYER COME TO ME

D-family Xmas photosets

DBoys D2 Xmas photosets

I didn't see them when I was in Japan...? If not I'll definitely get Yuki's. He's so beautiful here.

=====

No worries, I'm fine now. It wasn't Yuki-therapy that healed me (partially), but rather Maple. Somehow, the prospect of getting a Dual Wielder class chased all negative emotions away. I'm not kidding. I deleted the character though.......

=====

http://p-bandai.jp/fashion-net/character/four/gentarou/item-1000012096/

Bandai, you bastard. Looks like a trip to Chinatown and Spotlight is necessary.....well, I plan to make the studded stuff during Cosfest so that I won't be too bored....

http://yaplog.jp/hiropi-balt/archive/530

Pretty.

http://www.mangareader.net/dictatorial-grimoire

I will read anything that has a remake of the fairytales we know, except Alice in Wonderland. That concept is way overdone.

=====

I heard Mura-chin's voice. Dude, the voice's not Ryuuta at all. Or rather, it's deeper.

I'll watch KuroBasu when the Winter Cup is animated. Coz it's more exciting.

=====

I'm on a josei manga rampage. Much as I would like some action and adventure, I think I like the pace of josei. The heroines are more mature and stronger.

=====

Holy fark. I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BE A DUEL WIELDER. URGH. (Yeah, plenty of excuse to explain my disappearance aye, besides avoiding people.)

Bleh. Doesn't work. I think it's the kind where you have to create from the start. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a Dual Wielder class anywhere in Maplesea.

Urgh.

I shall delete this temporary character and wait for Demon Slayer then.....

The feeling, just isn't the same.

I will not sully my happy posts with grey linings.

Somehow, I feel like doing the extremes just to spite people, and to show them what I am capable of.

While having a nonchalant, almost bored expression.

All to unnerve them.

Get this straight, I'm not a pushover. I'm not meekly obedient, but neither am I impudent and unobservant of the rules.

=====

The feeling, just isn't the same.

Sometimes, I wish I were better off not knowing. Then I don't have to deal with this annoying, nagging feeling of being alone whenever I hang out with them. Most of the time, I would have this impulse to just walk away or hang back far behind just to give them alone time and not feel like some "jealous third wheel". Dude, this ain't a manga. Neither am I like that.

It's one thing if you tease two people. It's another if they end up together and they only tell you afterwards and you don't even suspect a thing.

It gets awkward.

It always does.

And then you're used to it over time.

Still it doesn't lessen this initial weird feeling.

This probably shows how much of a damn lion I am - the feeling of being lied to, or kept in the dark, is equivalent to being betrayed. I don't care about most things, but if I am your close friend, I do care; you take more than one month to break the news to me, I will need time to adjust. Accepting the fact is one thing, trying to adjust and work around it is another.

I'm not angry. I'm disappointed.

I will not pretend I'm unaffected - I'll seriously be lying to myself. I've enough of lies, why should I add on to them knowing it'll just make me feel inferior and bitter, no matter how much I know I don't give a shit in the first place?

No one knows this address. I told none of my friends. For those I did, they've probably forgotten the link. It's too long to remember anyway. Which is why I have slight more freedom being who I am, who I really am, and who I aspire to be.


I've decided. I'm completely erasing my existence these few days. Then I'll pop back nearer to Cosfest. I need time to adjust, time to do my own stuff, time to stay away from people. I don't know how I'll turn out after this, I don't really care, but don't mind me if I seem withdrawn - it's just me contemplating things.

Or trying to be Joe so that I don't lose my composure when the time comes.

*bitter laugh*

Who the hell am I finding excuses for?

The friendship will still remain. But things will change. It can never go back to where it once was.

For that, I will prepare myself. I will continue to experience, continue to improve, continue to change. Even if I were to give people a glimpse of what I was in the past, I won't back down. It's all part of who I am.

I refuse to indulge in self-pity. I refuse to let myself be consumed by negative thoughts. I refuse to withdraw and shirk responsibility. I refuse to back down.

I refuse to live a lie.

春どこDVD握手会☆
昨日はある撮影でした(^O^)
昨日は取材☆